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2009........2008........2007........2006
Extraterrestrials and Flatulence
17 Dec 2008 10:40 pm
Can't stay and chat. Too busy to update, but these have been sitting around far too long. Well, gotta run. Pick up the tab, willya?
Aliens: A Comic Book Adventure - PC
Timon and Pumbaa's Jungle Games - SNES
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King's Quest IV
02 Dec 2008 8:40 pm
Remember how I was going to review all the King's Quest games? Boy, I really got right on that one, didn't I?
King's Quest IV - PC
On a side note, I'm trying to enjoy Æon Flux (the animated series, not the film), but I'm having real trouble taking that costume seriously. Asked to describe the episodes I just watched, the first thing that came to mind was "ridiculous cartoon ass crack."
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Enemy Zero
19 Nov 2008 8:30 pm
I already talk about my sort-of history with this game in the review, so I won't repeat it here. If you like adventures and sci-fi, read on for another tale of disappointment.
More reviews to come soon, but I'm too lazy to put them up tonight. I'm sorry, but characters in Fallout 3 are depending on me. The Declaration of Independence isn't going to collect itself, you know.
Enemy Zero - PC
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Monolith Sucks, And Also Rules
08 Nov 2008 8:30 pm
Monolith is a curious developer to watch, because they go through clear phases. Some excellent games are released, followed by some pretty mediocre ones. Blood (excellent) is followed by Blood II (rubbish). No One Lives Forever, AvP2, and Tron 2.0 (excellent) are followed by Contract J.A.C.K., The Matrix Online, and F.E.A.R. (rubbish), which are then followed by Condemned: Criminal Origins (excellent). They rollercoaster around like this, and Shogo was released on one of the dips in the quality curve, perhaps while the coaster was ripping through a tunnel or somesuch.
Shogo: Mobile Armor Division - PC
I also keep forgetting to mention that I wrote a review for Bungie's Macintosh classic
Marathon over on MobyGames. Yes, it is meant as a precursor to a new review on this site...
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Halloween 2008
31 Oct 2008 3:04 am
Happy Halloween! Here's the list. Hope you have a big bucket of candy, you're going to need it to get through them all:
Drascula: The Vampire Strikes Back - PC
Blood II: The Chosen - PC
Werewolf: The Last Warrior - NES
In Extremis - PC
Nosferatu - SNES
Mansion of Hidden Souls - SEGACD
Enjoy!
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Iroquois Plissken's Revenge
19 Oct 2008 8:09 pm
So here's two somewhat obscure titles for one of my patented "Let's fill in the gaps of what information is available on the Internet" updates. Snake's Revenge is the "unofficial" NES-only sequel to Metal Gear. Flash Traffic is an FMV mystery involving nuclear bombs and the FBI.
Snake's Revenge - NES
Flash Traffic: City of Angels - PC
On a modern note, if you enjoyed System Shock 2 and haven't played Dead Space, pick that shit up. Highly suprisingly, you will not regret it for a second.
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Let's Try This Again
08 Oct 2008 9:07 pm
Pretty busy these days, so it's not the best time to get back the into the game. But I feel like writing again, so buckle up. Two from me, an analysis of Bust A Move from Ubergeek, and more on the way. And will there be a Halloween episode? I don't know. Have you been good?
Command & Conquer: Red Alert - PC
Shadow Warrior: Wanton Destruction - PC
Bust A Move - SNES
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The Deep Freeze
27 Jul 2008 7:50 pm
It's likely become obvious that I've been struggling with updating JGR for the last six or so months. Lately, I haven't been writing reviews because I have something I want to say, I've been writing to meet some arbitrary monthly quota so that I don't feel like I'm failing to deliver. It's been much like driving a car with flat tires - you're still moving, but you're not really helping anyone, and eventually you just need to pull over.
So, no new updates for a while. I plan to spend this time playing old games without having to complete them, justify my opinions, or finish writing a review before I move on to the next. I hope it will get me back to the earlier JGR days, where I was writing about titles I already had strong opinions of, that I was excited about sharing. Could be months, could be longer. But the reviews will ultimately be better for it.
Current reviews will stay up in the meantime.
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Dohcta Johnes!
29 Jun 2008 10:21 pm
Still haven't seen the fourth movie, so I can't really claim this as a tie-in. But if you're drunk on Indy hype, you could do far worse than his SNES platformer. I talk about Captain's Chair too. There's argument as to whether it's really a game, but it's as interactive as Myst, there aren't many reviews for it, and I have a copy for some reason. Good enough for me.
I'd also like to take a moment to thank our mystery MobyGamer for adding our updates in a timely manner. We appreciate your Indomitable ZealOtry.
Indiana Jones' Greatest Adventure - SNES
Star Trek: Captain's Chair - PC
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Postal and More
15 Jun 2008 5:57 pm
Well, it's Postal. You play a guy who goes postal. Don't expect too much.
Postal Plus - PC
Meanwhile, you'll find my reviews for Red Faction and Half-Life: Blue Shift graciously posted by the fine fellows over at A Force For Good. Why the show of solidarity, you ask? Well, it's a long and complicated story involving bribery, international intrigue, and a plan to nick all the gold in Fort Knox.
...Both games came after JGR's 1999 release cap, and they were good enough to take them. And if you haven't been to their site before, you're in for a treat.
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So I Finally Played Warcraft
27 May 2008 1:02 am
Orks and Humans go to war.
Tex goes to Mars.
I go to bed.
Warcraft: Orcs & Humans - PC
Martian Memorandum - PC
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Links From Zelda's Past
11 May 2008 9:15 pm
Part three of the Static-Zelda saga hits the newsstands. Find out what he thinks of the SNES classic. Meanwhile, I take on another of Infocom's best - Douglas Adams' satirical, and often overlooked, Bureaucracy.
Finally, if you're having trouble keeping up with our... er... "casual" update schedule, you can now subscribe to the RSS feed by email. Rather than having to check the RSS reader of your choice, you'll see any new updates sitting happily in your mailbox, whistling a cheery tune, and perhaps holding a fluffy stack of pancakes. Click here to make it happen.
Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past - SNES
Bureaucracy - PC
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Spear of Destiny
27 Apr 2008 11:50 pm
This whole "beat every game before you review it" thing is hard work. Course I didn't have real responsibilities when I made that rule.
Well, you can cross "Recover the Spear of Destiny" off the list. Go shove it in a box and plant it deep in that enormous Army warehouse. Place it next to the Ark and the alien implant from that kid's nose.
Spear of Destiny - PC
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Daytona USA Deluxe
07 Apr 2008 9:30 am
More from Ubergeek - this time he takes the inside corner for a win in the PC port of Sega's Daytona CCE. While it certainly took enough versions, it sounds like SEGA finally found an enjoyable home version of the arcade classic.
Daytona USA Deluxe - PC
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Outlaws
31 Mar 2008 11:57 pm
So we lost March because JGR HQ packed up and moved locations. Almost too busy for games, if you can believe it. I say almost because I was still able to ride through LucasArts' Old West masterpiece Outlaws. More to come.
Outlaws - PC
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A New Reviewer
29 Feb 2008 8:08 am
So you've probably noticed we don't update as much as you'd like. You've probably wondered if anything can be done about that. The answer is yes.
So please welcome our new staff review, the self-proclaimed Ubergeek! Check out his introductory review, and look for more his work in the future.
Tecmo World Cup '92 - GEN
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The P is M
27 Feb 2008 12:11 am
After working diligently on this turkey for a good two weeks, I finally have to throw in the towel. The President is still missing, and I could no longer care less. Hit the link to see why.
Also, there's some important site news coming up in the next few days. Oooh, what could it be? A book deal? Exposure on a popular gaming site? We finally saved up enough Pepsi points for the corporate jet? You'll find out soon!
The President is Missing - PC
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The Double Update
05 Feb 2008 10:25 pm
I did it! Two updates in a row! All I can guarantee is that it will never happen again. At least I can take this moment to feel like a responsible member of the Internet community, and we can all get a tiny glimpse at what regularly-updated JGR content would look like.
I actually just recieved a few rather obscure PC titles I'm excited about. Next update or two could be interesting.
Elevator Action - NES
Batman: Return of the Joker - NES
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Diablo
04 Feb 2008 10:15 pm
Diablo was one of those games that I was curious about, but couldn't afford when it was released. It sounded kind of dull, but the monster review scores it was pulling off at least warranted a second look. Finally, almost a decade later, I get around to it. Better than I thought, but I came away a little less than impressed. Anyway, it's all in the review, making this kind of pointless. I have a headache, alright? And you're ugly.
There's an excellent chance that around this time tomorrow, we'll make JGR history and have back to back updates. I have two on the burner, but they need a little more spice. Perhaps worchestire. Mmmm-mmm.
Diablo - PC
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2008
21 Jan 2008 11:15 pm
New year, new reviews. I believe we doubled our content in 2007. Believe me, I'd like to double it again in 2008. We'll see what we can do. Here's the start, and remember that if there's a particular game you want to see, you can use the easy suggestion box on the Contact page.
And hey, thanks for reading the site. That's all. No "Thanks and donate." No "Thanks and tell your friends." Just thanks for taking time to read our work. Hope we keep you entertained.
Dune - PC
Gotcha! The Sport! - NES
American Gladiators - GEN
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